Audrey Hepburn as Natasha Rostova in the 1956 film adaptation of War and Peace - which I have not seen yet.

The last couple of nights were spent poring over the brittle leaves of War and Peace until dawn, when the only sounds that could be heard were of rain falling softly on a sleeping town, the gentle rustle of sepia-toned pages being turned, and of course, my sighs.

A few hours ago, I finally came to the last page of what I set out to read on the first day of this year, and with a satisfied breath, I relished what was left of the admeasured time for sleep.

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“Why are you reading Tolstoy?” Only Franz, who has an extraordinary ability to understand the current state of my emotions through the authors I read, would hurl a question like that and stun me. By asking, it means that he already knows the answer. One apprehends when a book is important and worthwhile, it is when the intention of reading is not to entertain oneself but to find, and to know. I read Tolstoy because after tackling significant books like this, I feel that I have seen more about life and understand more about life; it provides me with the somberness to ponder about life – as we all must, every now and then; and reading such books coupled with actually living life to the fullest makes a dedicated reader veritably feel that she is, indeed, living life to the fullest.

“It is not by the intellect that He is comprehended, but by life.”

“…it would be hard to live if one had not faith.”

“…how easy it is, how little strength it requires, to do so much good… and how little we trouble ourselves about it!”

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” 

“Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait.”

“Love hinders death. Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love.”

“…love and be loved!”

“Love awoke, life awoke.”

“While we are alive let us live.”

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Filed under Life Betwixt Book Covers

My fellow women, why must we torture our men so? Receiving a loving smile from the man I love would make me the happiest person on Valentine’s day or any other day, and that would always be enough for me.

Let your men surprise you on another day – whenever they sincerely feel like doing so. I’m even beginning to think that Valentine’s Day is somehow observed out of fear that they won’t. However, that’s just me. (February 13)

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Today I had my dates. I even shared some with a friend. My dates were probably the most mouth-watering; the exotic, sweet, and edible kind that provides one with enough endorphins to smile all day; the kind that grows on palm trees. Yes, those dates.

By the way, it might be interesting to add that date palms are dioecious. It means that there exists male and female palm trees of the same species and in order to bear fruit, the pollen of the androecious (male) must needs be in contact with the ovule-producing gynoecious (female). Even though I have quasi-cynical views of Valentine’s Day, it might be of some comfort to others that at least my dietary preference didn’t stray that much from the occasion.  (February 14)

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Related Entries:
January 1 - 7: One Thought at a Time
January 8 - 13: Lifting Off
January 14: Nulla Dies Sine Linea
January 15 - 23: More Thoughts, Mere Thoughts
January 24 - 29: Unpacking
January 30 - February 1: On Happiness and Songs
February 2 - 7: Surreally Yours
February 8 - 12: Fragments

]]> http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/2012/02/16/valentines-dates/feed/ 0 polybibliogamist =) http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/2012-fragments-2/ http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/2012-fragments-2/#comments Sun, 12 Feb 2012 16:01:10 +0000 Miracle ♪♫ http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/?p=2624 ]]> February 8
My maternal grandparents are about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, my paternal grandmother became a widow while she was pregnant with my father in her thirties but remained loyal to her husband’s memory and stayed in love with him until she passed away at the ripe old age of 92, my parents have been faithful to each other for 34 years and I know they will be until forever… and the point is… nobody should dare expect me to love any less. (Yes, I give you the right to consider that a beautiful threat. Hah!)

February 9
Spend a day with my grandparents and you can’t help but wonder how two very clashing personalities could stay that long together. He, the romantic, and she, the pragmatic. He, the extremely optimistic, and she, the extremely pessimistic. They disagree, they argue, complain about each other, but after all is said and done, they love each other. And again, better than that… they still choose each other… day after day. Sixty amazing years, in a restless world like this is, where love has ended before it’s begun.  It is truly incredible.

February 10
…and I suppose, that one way to measure love is not through keeping track of how many things you have in common with a person, but in realizing how much love there is despite the many differences.

I swear my breath turned silver
the day your hair did
like I swore marigolds grew
in the folds of my eyelids the first time i saw you
and they bloomed the first time i watched you dance
to the tune of our kitchen kettle
in our living room,
in a world that could have left us hard as metal,
we were soft as nostalgia together

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Don’t you dare let go of my hand – that was my favorite line…
(from “I Do” by A.G.)

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February 11
People dub every calamity, disaster, and death, as “wake-up calls”… but right after doing so, they unfortunately go back to sleep.

February 12
(On Whitney Houston’s death)
The world is once again reminded that it is not money, fame, or successful careers that give us fulfillment. Some people have it all – but not really. When will we ever learn? :’(

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Related Entries:
January 1 - 7: One Thought at a Time
January 8 - 13: Lifting Off
January 14: Nulla Dies Sine Linea
January 15 - 23: More Thoughts, Mere Thoughts
January 24 - 29: Unpacking
January 30 - February 1: On Happiness and Songs
February 2 - 7: Surreally Yours

February 2
I have contemporaries whose writings make mine pale in comparison, but that does not restrain me from pursuing this other love. I have enjoyed writing for years but it was only recently when I discovered that it has become a genuine friend.

Today, I panicked when I ran out of pen ink. Yes, yes, I’m an old soul, and the lack of ink – the thought of being prevented from being with my reliable friend who has comforted me through private sorrows and has rejoiced with me in days of sunshine, alarmed me.

I smiled later on when I realized that it was actually a charming thing to dread the loss of dear old-fashioned ink.

February 3
Dreams do come true. One incredible dream came surreally true today. I am so thankful. If the Lord wills, I will be able to write all about it a few months from now. =)

February 4
“If the heart is right with the Lord, the heart rejoices.” I borrowed this line from Mama’s journal entry for February 4. I believe that this thought trounces all heart quotes that I’ve read eversince “love month” began.

February 5
One can “unfriend” people on Facebook, and indeed, one is immediately spared from thoughtless and immature remarks and updates, and you actually feel freed. However, one cannot “unlove” someone – on or off Facebook. No, not ever.

February 6
Another Starbucks planner! Nevertheless, methinks that one who has a penchant for writing can never have too many writing paraphernalia. Right? Write!

February 7
The longest and strongest earthquake I ever experienced in my life occurred yesterday right after I cleaned my room and I was on the way to the bathroom. It was a 6.8 magnitude quake, another surreal experience. The instant my demitasse collection began tinkling, the metronome on the piano collapsed, lamps were swaying, paintings on the wall were askew, and two of Papa’s cameras fell from the shelf, I immediately rushed downstairs garbed in a mere skimpy towel to look for Misha. As soon as I found him, I forgot all instructions about what to do in such situations and the only thing that mattered to me was that I was holding his hand.

I woke up today in clean and fresh bed sheets and I am very thankful that God spared us from unimaginable disasters. Yesterday’s several seconds of uncertainty led me to become certain of a few things. I realized that Misha is the most important thing to me, that in aforementioned events the only thoughts that enter my mind are of people who mean the world to me – and such moments reconfirm who those people are, that our sojourn here on earth is dwindling, and that one of the greatest tragedies in life is for people who love each other to be apart. And yes, why must they be?! :’-)

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Related Entries:
January 1 - 7: One Thought at a Time
January 8 - 13: Lifting Off
January 14: Nulla Dies Sine Linea
January 15 - 23: More Thoughts, Mere Thoughts
January 24 - 29: Unpacking
January 30 - February 1: On Happiness and Songs

January’s last two remaining days were spent pondering on happiness, and this is what Life has taught me: I have learned that it is easier to be happy if you do not blame other people for your misfortunes, but rather examine the missteps you might have taken that led you there, retrace your steps, and gain a more solid foothold on the right path. I have learned that Maria was not kidding when she told us to simply remember our favorite things and then we won’t feeeel… soooo bad! I have learned that there is something very wrong with people who smile and claim they are happy for the purpose of peeving  the people they don’t like. That is absolutely the wrongest motive for happiness and smiling, and it only sadly proves how miserable and bitter their lives and intentions really are. I have learned that you should not depend on another human being to fix yourself, but instead endeavor to fix yourself for the people you love. I have learned that being happy enables me to live better and love so much better. I am learning that striving to love better and not hoping to be loved better is the rightest, truest, and purest motive for happiness.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” (Audrey Hepburn)

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February 1, 2012

Ah, February 1. That time of the year when everyone suddenly begins to be so concerned about love and hearts – tinsel, paper, and even plastic. I believe in Love but I don’t believe in Valentine’s Day. Fortunately, the man  I care for despises the same day, too. However, the Valentine card shown above seemed to beckon to me from a Hallmark stall. I don’t like the fact that I made Hallmark forty pesos richer thanks to another commercialized nonsensical day, but I knew I had to get this card whether  I decide to keep it or give it away – not on Valentine’s Day, though, if I ever do.

It caught my attention not only because of the musical design, but because I know what it’s like to love someone, a song - and have my heart sing that song. (Not the way people sing Bob Marley’s No Woman, No Cry and misconstrue that there would be no sorrow without women when the singer is actually comforting and telling a certain woman not to cry; And also not the way silly girls go kilig over Bruno Mars’ Marry You while the singer is actually suggesting that marriage is a “dumb thing to do”. No, no, no. Not like that.) I  love a song in quite the same way I’d go crazy about Jason Mraz’ I Won’t Give Up while deeply and fully understanding the overlooked, difficult, and un-kilig “when you’re needing your space to do some navigating, I’ll be here patiently waiting to see what you find” part… which brings to mind what Jason Mraz wrote on his online journal about the Manila concert. He wasn’t too satisfied with it but he was kind enough not to state that and simply said that it was overwhelming. I think the reason was not because the crowd failed to tell him they loved him, but it was for the reason that they said it too much. Everyone was screaming words of adoration even while he was singing, and he worried that he was not able to properly impart the essence of his songs to a crowd that was too busy cheering instead of listening. As admirers of a song or singer, we have to learn when to be silent and listen some more. Without meaning to, we tend to choke people we love with too much attention or admiration. While the songs we love might sometimes feed on our encouragement and inspiration, the most needful thing for them is to be listened to, and have their essence understood, and have their significance realized in our lives… and most of the time, silence (for the purpose of listening) best expresses our love.

You are the sun, I am the moon. You are the words, I am the tune. Play me.
(Neil Diamond)

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Related Entries:
January 1 - 7: One Thought at a Time
January 8 - 13: Lifting Off
January 14: Nulla Dies Sine Linea
January 15 - 23: More Thoughts, Mere Thoughts
January 24 - 29: Unpacking

Without further ado, allow me to unpack six days worth of thoughts that have been prompted by observing different manners of relationships.

January 24
People have said that time and distance are the most harrowing tests to a relationship. To be tested is indeed difficult, but I am still thankful for the tests. Unfazed by time and distance, I have relationships that pass those tests every single day.

January 25
One good thing about living in faraway Dipolog, is that some people actually go out of their way just to visit me, and then I am assured that they are not there for me because it’s convenient for them, but because they simply want to be with me. I certainly find pleasure in returning the favor.

January 26
Unless a man lives for God first and then walks in His ways, I will not be so confident to claim that it is True Love that a man feels for me. A woman may be admired, liked, adored, and be considered as an ideal partner, but True Love has certain standards. As much as one may want to believe that what they have is “true love”, a real woman should not fool herself – or anybody.

January 27
Love simply becomes more credible if one pleases God first.

January 28
“Yes” to men who try hard to prove their devotion. “No” to girls who try desperately hard to prove a man’s devotion.

January 29
While I may be seen as being quite skeptical and doubtful about how a man loves me, that does not, by any means, imply that I am unsure of loving. When I love, I love truly – and that is what I’d confidently prefer to claim.

“Strange how I fit into you / There’s a distance erased with the greatest of ease / Strange how you fit into me / A gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs.”
(Vienna Teng)

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Related Entries:
January 1 - 7: One Thought at a Time
January 8 - 13: Lifting Off
January 14: Nulla Dies Sine Linea
January 15 - 23: More Thoughts, Mere Thoughts

January 15
Sometimes, when certain people talk of karma, I feel afraid… for them. Before accusing other people as the cause of our misery and wishing for “karma” to occur in their lives, we should examine ourselves first. Maybe life is not already going too well for us because of – yes, you got it right – karma.

January 16
What some people don’t get is that you are not trying to bring them down. They just feel that way when they are the ones who intentionally do things to provoke you and find out that their ploys have failed, and you’re only getting stronger and stronger.

January 17
Technology sometimes fools us into believing that it brings people closer, when in fact, it even frequently hinders people from making an effort to be actually together. I believe that a single month without cellphones, e-mail, chat, Skype, or Facebook, would actually push people to strive to be with their loved ones more often.

January 18
When attempting to disturb my peace, people should spell-and-grammar-check first. Otherwise, I’ll just sit there entertained. Very entertained.

January 19
Wishing for a loved one to change in certain ways does not mean we love them less. It even means that we love them deeply and profoundly enough to know what’s best for them.

January 20
Worldly advice tells us to never change for anyone. I would. And I am changing everyday. Nobody is perfect, hence nobody should surmise that there is no room left for a better change within.

January 21
One of the easiest ways to get to somewhere you’ve never been to, is to be humble enough to admit that you don’t know the way, and then ask for directions. (On being a little probinsyana in Manila. Hehe!)

January 22
Grammatical errors are akin to physical flaws. They are cute and adorable – but only when our loved ones are concerned. Haha! =)

January 23
In the end, it would be so beautiful to measure out life with thoughts, coffee spoons, sunsets, starry nights, smiles, hugs, and a few more of my favorite things… but it would only be best to measure out life, with Love.

Related Entries:
2012, One Thought at a Time: January 1 - 7
2012, Lifting Off: January 8 - 13
2012, Nulla Dies Sine Linea: January 14

Time. We never seem to have enough. But the truth is, we have enough. More than enough. The trouble is that we misspend most of it on things that – frankly speaking – don’t matter.

This is what I hope to accomplish this year and for the rest of my life: Not a day without a line. Not a day without doing something worthwhile. Not a day without smiling. Not a day without loving. =)

Related Entries:
January 1 - 7: One Thought at a Time
January 8 - 13: Lifting Off

]]> http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/2012/01/14/2012-nulla-dies-sine-linea/feed/ 2 polybibliogamist =) http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/2012/01/13/2012-lifting-off/ http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/2012/01/13/2012-lifting-off/#comments Thu, 12 Jan 2012 23:19:06 +0000 Miracle ♪♫ http://flowersfromabook.wordpress.com/?p=2193 ]]> It seems as if I only had to wait for two weeks until I could finally feel this new year gather momentum and escalate! I am not superstitious but I think the delay had something to do with not watching Karajan conduct Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 on New Year’s Eve. We used to do that every single year, but this time, instead of musical fireworks, my brother decided to welcome the year by arming ourselves with cameras to take photos of pyrotechnics. The photos were spectacular but I think I’ll go back to Beethoven next year.

Leaving that aside, and now that exciting plans are being made, higher goals are being set, acceptance on certain things are taking effect, ABRSM results are in, there’s time for weightier reading once again, new musical pieces to learn, anticipations of beautiful reunions with loved ones, and pleasant surprises are springing up everywhere, I can finally see 2012 begin to soar beautifully. I am once again reminded that life is beautiful, life is exciting, and… ‎”Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful…” =)

And oh! Yes, I am still determined to take 2012 one thought at a time. Since we left off at January 7, on we go to January 8.

January 8
Just when you think you are deprived of a glorious sunset, you only have to tilt your perspective a little bit to discover that you are gifted with a profoundly beautiful moonrise.

January 9
We still have to be kind and patient to people who don’t know the difference between “invisible” and “invincible”.

January 10
A person who reads and writes… is never bored!

January 11
A woman should never impose her presence, or beg and insist upon staying in a man’s life. In the end, it’s lovelier knowing that who you have in your life is the one who stayed not because he was merely sympathetic, or didn’t have a choice, or was begged or forced… but simply because he chose to.

January 12
It is not right to do obnoxious things to provoke or attempt to kick-out other people away from someone’s life just so you can be in it. It would only confirm the fact that it is you who has a shaky foothold in that person’s life… and it’s even more outrageous to use “love” to justify such actions.

January 13
Despite life’s excitement, anticipations, and wishing for every good thing to happen all at once; waiting, I find, is a little bit easier… for those who read.

“Henry thinks as he approaches me, ‘…it can only be Anaïs who reads while she waits.’” (from The Dairy of Anaïs Nin: Volume I)

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Related Entry:
2012, One Thought at a Time: January 1 - 7

Nevertheless, I began 2012 with the coveted Starbucks planner. I am not using it as a mere organizer but also as a quasi-diary where little daily realizations and quips – candid, random, silly, or sensible  - will be recorded. (Some of these will also make their way as Facebook status messages. Hehe!) Events and plans are written with pencil, while thoughts will be jotted down with a pen, for the reason that one may cancel and reschedule appointments, but not thoughts.

There is a bittersweet little private joke behind this planner shared with the one who gave it to me, but as an act of gratefulness, I plan to return it to the person at the end of the year along with all my scribbles. Between friends, it’s a lovely thought for one to provide the empty pages at the beginning of the year and for the other to return them brimming with life at the end of the year… that way, the lines between giver and receiver are blurred and both end up owning the same thing – a shared, thoughtful year that you embraced one thought at a time.

Here’s a peek into the first week of January.

January 1
We should not limit ourselves to merely planning events, appointments, and other dates. Remember to plan goals, ideas, and dreams as well – for the betterment of yourself and those you love.

January 2
Most people on Facebook and Facebook photos are not closer than they appear.

January 3
Whether regarding friends or lovers, if it’s the kind of relationship that one still desperately hankers to prove to everyone else (especially on Facebook), then something is apparently wrong with that relationship. Real love manifests itself naturally the same way sunlight seeps through the door and shutters, and lights up an entire room… silently, softly, warmly, but brightly.

January 4
…that lovely moment when the word “sunlight” reminds you of someone’s smile. =)

January 5
As much as marriage proposal videos have become a fad, I would love and prefer to witness true commitment become more rampant and popular.

January 6
I believe that one mark of a strong woman is in knowing something that can hurt someone beyond repair – but withholds it, and being aware of having the power to bring someone down – but refrains from doing it.

January 7
If you are really loved, you are loved. You won’t have to console yourself with the fact, and you will find no need to convince others.

“They want to know what I do with my time. I tell them that sometimes I just sit and think.” (from Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury)